Reflection on Project 2 Draft

In the post below I will be reflecting on my draft as well as planning what I think I will need to specifically revise. To do this I will answer various questions from A Student's Guide to Writing.

When I peer reviewed, I looked at Gabee and Carrie's drafts.

ClkerFreeVectorImages. "Man." 2014 via Pixabay.
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Thesis?
I have an identifiable thesis, but I think while writing my essay I talked about stuff that wasn't mentioned in the thesis. In order to fix that, I would need to broaden my thesis or condense my essay. Since I like most of the points I talked about, I may just add another sentence to my thesis to include more of my ideas in the essay.

Organization?
I think my essay is relatively well organized. I think I managed to keep on subject in each paragraph, but definitely reworking my thesis will help with overall organization. I think it will be hard to include an address to my own audience inside the essay, as that might be confusing and take away from the essay as a whole, unless I restructured the entire thing.

Rhetorical Situations?
Throughout the essay I talk about the author's credibility and his use of dramatic language, but I never directly say logos or ethos or pathos. I think that by directly using those words the essay would sound more formulaic, and I don't want the essay to be boring. I do talk about aspects of these situations, but I think to make the essay more effective at analyzing the article I need to go more in depth about the subject. I'll probably go throughout my essay and add more details about why the author's strategies worked.

Why these situations?
I chose to look at those situations because I thought they were strong in the article I read. If I'm going to talk about why the article was effective, I need to prove it by using his strongest points/strategies. In order to show these strategies I described the author himself, and then used quotes throughout as examples.

Evidence?
I think most of my evidence goes well with the point I am trying to make. I think that in some parts I may shorten the quote, or include another paraphrase of his work, to have a little more evidence to back up my claims.

Conclusion?
I think that parts of my conclusion are good, but it's like it just isn't there all the way yet. I need to work on the last sentence or two, and make sure that I leave on an open ended note about the subject, which is hard for me to do. I think to do this I might try it a few ways until I can hammer a solid final sentence into place.