Reflection on Open Letter Draft

In the post below I will be reflecting on my draft for the final and the peer editing that we all did. For my peer review, I looked at Austin and Gabee's drafts of open letters. (I can't believe the semester is almost over!)

Anon. "Teacher Gives Until Friday To Do Essay." Screenshot. 6-11-2014.
Public Domain

Revision Process:

1. I think all of the reflections we've done in class this semester has made it easier to look back as a whole to reflect on all the coursework done. I think I was able to honestly look at myself as a writer and see how I've improved and what still needs to be worked on. 
2. During my reflective letter I talked about past projects and how specific revision strategies helped me, since this has always been a problem for me in the past. I think by adding links to projects or post I will be able to better analyze past work. 
3. By adding links into my letter, I have provided a lot of examples for what I discuss. 
4. I think I could explain more so how or why I did certain things. I think by adding a little bit more to my letter I could have good explanations for why I write in certain ways. 

Draft of Open Letter

Here is the draft of my open letter. When reading please look for any awkward phrases or words. I also ask to look out for rambling, as I'm worried that in a reflection letter like this I may go on too long. Thank you so much for reading!

William Arthur. "Letter." May 24 via flickr.
Public Domain. 

Reflecting More On My Writing Experiences

For the following post, I will be answering some questions about my experiences in 109H in odrer to help me reflect more on this semester.

"Taco Dibbits answering questions at James Boyle Lecture." 7-4-2014 via wikicommons.
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1. What were the biggest challenges you faced this semester, overall?
I think it was really hard for me to estimate how long projects would take. When I actually got to writing the paper, I felt like it took a lot longer because I had prepared so much to go into it.

2. What did you learn this semester about your own time management, writing and editorial skills?
I learned that I still need to work on my time management, I'm very good at wasting time. But I think my writing and revising processes definitely improved through each project. I feel more confident in my writing and like I can actually produce something I like myself.

3. What do you know about the concept of 'genre'? Explain how understanding this concept is central to being a more effective writer.
A genre is a style or form of writing, like movie genres. Different genres require different looks, conventions, and different tones. And genres are useful to have, because it allows you to attract different audiences based on your topic. When you are a writer, knowing the appropriate genre for your audience allows you to more so target them directly.

4. What skills from this course might you use and/or develop further in the next few years of college coursework?
I will most likely get better on time management the longer in college. I'll get used to the amount of work and delegate my hours better.

5. What was your most effective moment from this semester in 109H?
I really liked Project 3. I thought I learned a lot from actually finding my own genre and then also trying to recreate it.

6. What was your least effective moment from this semester in 109H?
It was definitely the first week, before I fully realized the conventions of blog posts. Since I missed a point or even part of a point on all of them, I got really bad grades the first week. Which kind of freaked me out.

Revisiting My Writing Process

At the beginning of the year, I wrote about my writing style and my weekly calendar (in order to see how much time I had for homework). In the post below, I'm going to do some reflection on the changes to these responses.

"knowyourmeme.com." 12-4. Public License. 

When I wrote about my writing process, I knew that over the semester that could easily change. Throughout the semester, the blog posts kept me really on track with my projects, and this helped me learn that when I devoted roughly equal times to each part of the project, I felt more confident writing and produced better work. I think it's awesome that I was able to learn this about my writing style, because I think being able to plan on paper and break down arguments before I actually start trying to write about it is very beneficial to my writing. However, my calendar reflection still applies. I have a fixed work schedule for school, so it is hard to change that too much.

Now, I think I am a much more balanced writer. I think that as I write more and more, I will be more motivated to break down the process piece by piece. I think that this course has helped prepare me for getting a variety of assignments. Even in my history class, I had to learn how historians write papers and then use that style while writing. I think that being able to adapt of different types of projects will be extremely useful throughout college.

Reflection on Project 3

Below I will be thinking and writing about my last project, and the success and weaknesses of the revision process. To do this, I will be answering some questions from "Writing Public Lives."

Elyssa Antonelle. "fist bump baby." 12/6/2010 via Flicker.
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1. In my final version, I changed some parts of the intro and one of my main arguments. I added more key words to identify my audience in the beginning, that way my article will be more clear from the first sentence. I also added more argumentation in my paragraph about the standard's language being mostly the same. I clarified my argument here, making sure to say why common core is still better even if it is so similar. I also added some links within the article for further reading or context. 
2. I didn't reorganize my paragraphs, but I did reconsider my thesis goal for my second argument. I wanted to make sure I was clear on what I was saying in regards to my thesis, so added more in this section. 
3. I added these changes because of m audience. When peer reviewed, they both got confused at this section, leading me to believe my audience would too. So I beefed it up to make what I meant clear. 
4. I am willing to admit that my argument was flawed because of how unclear it was, and as a writer being able to admit that and fix it adds to my credibility. 
5. These changes make the audience feel more targeted in the beginning, better connected them to the paper and piquing their interest. And later in the paper, the more clear argument will help them understand my point more. 
6. In various parts of my paper, I changed the short sentences to longer ones. Originally I wanted short sentences (in some areas) to add emphasis, but I think this made it too choppy. I fixed some of these to make the paper flow better. 
7. Clarifying my argument helps them see what I am arguing for, pro common core or why it is good. Otherwise, they would be confused at this paragraph. 
8. I did consider it again when looking at my peer reviews, in regards to length and hyperlinking. Lia suggested that I add more arguments, but I think that I would want this to e a shorter, more direct piece. I feel that, especially for my audience, a shorter and sweeter paper would be more effective at holding their attention ad convincing them. I instead focused on making what I had better. Some of the examples I have up have hyperlinks, but some may only have one or two. This is why I originally only had one, but Allison suggested that it would make my argument stronger to have more, which I agreed with. I went in and added more to provide more context, examples, and further reading. 
9. Reflection lets me think about how I changed over a writing assignment, and add those changes in work style to my future writing routine. As a writer, this means that I am learning each time and adding to my writing arsenal each project. 

Publishing Public Argument

I finally finished project three, which can be seen here. Below is an argument breakdown sheet with some examples of my genre, which will be used to help grade my project.

Werwin15. "Yawn!" 12/29/2008 via Flickr.
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1. Mark with an "x" where you feel your target audience currently stands on the issue (before reading/watcing/hearing your argument) below:

←----------------------------------------------------|----------------------------------x----------------------->

Strongly                                            Totally neutral                                                    Strongly

agree                                                                                                                          disagree

2. Now mark with an "x" where you feel your target audience should be (after they've read/watched/heard your argument) below:

←---------------------------x-------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------->

Strongly                                            Totally neutral                                                    Strongly

agree                                                                                                                          disagree

3. Check one (and only one) of the argument types below for your public argument:

         _______ My public argument etablishes an original pro position on an issue of debate.

         _______ My public argument establishes an original con position on an issue of debate.

         _______ My public argument clarifies the causes for a problem that is being debated.

         _______ My public argument prooposes a solution for a problem that is being debated.

         ____xxx___ My public argument positively evaluates a specific solution or policy under debate (and clearly identifies the idea I'm supporting).

         _______ My public argument openly refutes a specific solution or policy under debate (and clearly identifies the idea I'm refuting).

4. My argument is different than many others because I have taken it a step further, especially in my conclusion. I know that common core has problems, but one of my concluding thoughts/arguments is that it is better than not changing. Since no one else is coming up with any other ideas other than, "lets go back to the failing system," my argument adds the idea that common core is a change, and that is where we have to start to get better. 

5. Identify the specific rhetorical appeals you believe you've employed in your public argument below:

Ethical or credibility-establishing appeals

                    _____ Telling personal stories that establish a credible point-of-view

                    __x___ Referring to credible sources (established journalism, credentialed experts, etc.)

                    ___x__ Employing carefully chosen key words or phrases that demonstrate you are credible (proper terminology, strong but clear vocabulary, etc.)

                    _____ Adopting a tone that is inviting and trustworthy rather than distancing or alienating

                    __x___ Arranging visual elements properly (not employing watermarked images, cropping images carefully, avoiding sloppy presentation)

                    _____ Establishing your own public image in an inviting way (using an appropriate images of yourself, if you appear on camera dressing in a warm or friendly or professional manner, appearing against a background that’s welcoming or credibility-establishing)

                    _____ Sharing any personal expertise you may possess about the subject (your identity as a student in your discipline affords you some authority here)

                    ___x__ Openly acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them intelligently

                    ___x__ Appealing openly to the values and beliefs shared by the audience (remember that the website/platform/YouTube channel your argument is designed for helps determine the kind of audience who will encounter your piece)

                    _____ Other: 

Emotional appeals

                    _____ Telling personal stories that create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    _____ Telling emotionally compelling narratives drawn from history and/or the current culture

                    __x___ Employing the repetition of key words or phrases that create an appropriate emotional impact

                    ___x__ Employing an appropriate level of formality for the subject matter (through appearance, formatting, style of language, etc.)

                    _____ Appropriate use of humor for subject matter, platform/website, audience

                    ___x__ Use of “shocking” statistics in order to underline a specific point

                    ___x__ Use of imagery to create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    _____ Employing an attractive color palette that sets an appropriate emotional tone (no clashing or ‘ugly’ colors, no overuse of too many variant colors, etc.)

                    _____ Use of music to create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    _____ Use of sound effects to create an appropriate emotional impact for the debate

                    ____ Employing an engaging and appropriate tone of voice for the debate

                    ___x__ Other: I talk only about issues that parents would be concerned with, and how it benefits their kids. This would be me appealing to my specific audience and connecting my argument with their concerns. (I just wanted to clarify this)

Logical or rational appeals

                    _____ Using historical records from credible sources in order to establish precedents, trends, or patterns

                    _____ Using statistics from credible sources in order to establish precedents, trends, or patterns

                    __x___ Using interviews from stakeholders that help affirm your stance or position

                    ___x__ Using expert opinions that help affirm your stance or position

                    ___x__ Effective organization of elements, images, text, etc.

                    _____ Clear transitions between different sections of the argument (by using title cards, interstitial music, voiceover, etc.)

                    _____ Crafted sequencing of images/text/content in order to make linear arguments

                    _____ Intentional emphasis on specific images/text/content in order to strengthen argument

                    _____ Careful design of size/color relationships between objects to effectively direct the viewer’s attention/gaze (for visual arguments)

                    _____ Other: 

6.Three Examples: 

Grading the Common Core: No Teaching Experience Required
Test Scores Under Common Core Show That ‘Proficient’ Varies by State
Meet the New Common Core

Reflection on Project 3 Draft

Below I will reflect on my draft for project three and the peer review activity by answering questions about the process.

For this project I peer reviewed Michaela and Chad's projects. Both were very different than mine because we all used different genres and argument types, but I think both of them did really well at compiling their information and arguments.

Gideon Burton. "Peer Review Monster." Jan 1, 2009 via Flickr.
Public Domain. 

1. Who reviewed your Project 3 rough draft?

Allison and Lia reviewed my draft. 

2. What did you think and/or feel about the feedback you received? Be explicit and clear. Tell me what helped or what confused you about the feedback you got.

I really appreciated Allison's comments about audience, because I think that she's right about making it more clear in my actual paper who my audience is. I also liked Lia's honesty about some of my arguments. I think if I add a little more to the paper, it could be  lot better. The only thing that I disagree with is when Lia mentions talking about something other than math, because math education is my focus, not education as a whole. 

3. What aspects of Project 3 need to most work going forward [Audience, Purpose, Argumentation, or Genre]? How do you plan on addressing these areas? 

I need to clarify my audience, which I will do by adding in specific references to them early on. I also need to add more arguments, so I think I will include more data and numbers as well as one more argument (to make it three) about its effectiveness. 

4. How are you feeling overall about the direction of your project after peer review and/or instructor conferences this week?

I feel really good. I got great feedback from everyone, and I'm looking forward to making the project better. I liked how specific these peer reviews had to be, I think that it made it much more helpful to improve my project. 

Draft of Public Argument

Below I have posted my first Draft of the Project.

Johnhain. "Practice." 2014 via pixabay.
Public Domain. 

While reading this, please pay attention to organization. It is always hard for me to put things in the correct order, so help me keep en eye on the placement of our argument.
Also help me keep an eye on use of pictures and evidence throughout the piece, as I don't to use something dumb or out of place for our paper.

Link to paper.

Considering Visual Elements

For the next part of my project, I will be looking at the visual aspects of my piece. To do this, I will answer questions of my choice from Writing Public Lives.

Missy-Deluxe. "Girl, Pretty, Nature." 8-23-2014 via Pixabay
Public Domain 

1. What color should the background and font be?
1. Since I am writing an article, I want it to be easy to read and navigate. In order to do this, I will have a white background with black text, as New York Times does. This is the easiest for people to read and looks professional. 
2. Does the association of the image go with my text?
1. I want to include pictures of common core problems, as well as a cover photo of a classroom. The relates to my topic and can also be used as evidence. 
3. If the image is a chart, does it support my argument?
1. I have a couple of graphs I do want to use, and I feel like I can easily use them both as evidence for my argument. 
4. How can large text boxes be used to break up the text?
1. Interchangeably use text and pictures to create a dynamic looking page. 
5. Is the visual concern constant?
1. I'll by using the same type of pictures throughout my piece, so everything will go together. 
6. Are the pictures faced the most convincing first?
1. I need to make sure pictures go with specific paragraphs, and keep this distinction closer to me. 

Project 3 Outline

In the post below, I have created my outline for this project. Part of the outline is a map, while other parts I simply discuss.

RaphaelJeanneret. "To Write, Girl."8-30-2014 via pixabay.
Public Domain 

Introduction:

I think the best way for me to get my audience, parents, interested in reading about common core is talking about the consequences of a poor or underdeveloped education. If I can scare parents into seeing why education needs to change, they can more easily accept a new argument. Many parents who don't like common core don't know a whole lot about it, and if they turned out okay with their education than so should their kids, right? In my introduction I want to turn down that argument by talking about how careers aren't looking for the same things anymore, and the education that we have now isn't quite giving those things to kids. I think this will be an emotionally grabbing hook for my readers.

Here is the link to a cluster for my body paragraphs.

Conclusion:
I think for my conclusion I want to look to the future. I do think that there are problems with common core, and a conclusion like this will allow me to admit to those problems and say that we need to focus more on that, not how common core standards suck so much. I think this will make my argument well rounded and easier to leave off with when negative people read my piece.

Analyzing My Genre

In the post below I will be looking more in depth at the genre I have chosen for my final paper: an opinion piece for New York Times. I have included 5 examples of the genre, and will answer some critical questions about the genre to better understand it.

OpenClipartVendors. "Newspaper." 2013 via Pixabay. 

Here are those examples:
Grading the Common Core: No Teaching Experience Required
Test Scores Under Common Core Show That ‘Proficient’ Varies by State
Meet the New Common Core
How Common Core Can Help in the Battle of Skills vs. Knowledge

New York Will Trim Common Core Exams After Many Students Skipped Them

And below are the questions I will be answering:
Social Context:

1. This genre is usually found in an online newspaper under the opinion tab.
2. The genre ranges in subject, but for mine I will focus on examples of the genre about common core. 
3. Many people read online news, pretty much anyone with a computer clicks and reads an article at least every now and then. 
4. The genre is a way for journalists and reporters to get their own opinions out there and try to sway peoples' emotions. For those who read the genre, it gives them more ideas, lets them see the opposite side of the argument, and lets them see more of a variety of arguments. 

Rhetorical Patterns of the Genre:

1. Writers will include some links or explanatory citations within their writing, but otherwise a lot of it is just their main ideas and explanations based off their own experience. 
2. Most of the time, for this topic, logos or ethos are used, either to connect to the readers to the writer emotional and get them invested, or logically with sensible arguments. 
3. The samples all have a quick introduction with some background info, the controversy, and their main argument. Most are structured this way, with their paragraphs breaking down the argument and a conclusion that sums up the idea and leaves off with a solution or further complaint. 
4. Since many of these writers and types of writers vary in opinion, sentence structure varies as well. 
5. Many words, of they are slang, are educational, so many teachers get the, Otherwise, the main person of interest are parents, which means the text needs a simple, easy to read, and knowledgeable background. 

Combining the above: 

1. The genre itself includes everyone, as opinion pieces can be about anything. 
2. The writer spreads their ideas and information, while readers read the texts and decide for themselves. 
3. The value of education is expected from the audience, since this is an education issue. 
4. Most of all the genre treats the standards and implementation of them nationwide. 

Considering Types

I will now move on to how I actually make my argument and the techniques I will use. After reading from Writing Public Lives, I can now decide on the type of argument I will make. Below is my explanation of that argumentative choice.

Joy Kosik. "Screenshot of Article by AJ Juliani." 10-27-2015. 

For my argument, I want the points I raise to be positive, as I believe this will have a greater chance of convincing parents that common core is good. If I am just bashing their views, like a refutation argument, I would get more negative responses than I want from this audience. Instead, I should do either a causal or evaluative argument. In a causal argument, I could explain why we need change in education and why common core is needed in the first place. In an evaluative argument, I could explain how common core is doing good and actually working. I think the best argument to use would be an evaluative argument, to better bring parents to the side of common core.

My Rhetorical Action Plan

Below I will begin the process of making an argument for my specific audience, parents of students in the U.S. I will also choose the genre I will be using for my argument within this post, as well as look at some responses my argument could have.

geralt. "Speakers." 2014 via pixabay.
Public Domain

Genre:

1. News article style
1. How Common Core Can Help in the Battle of Skills vs. Knowledge
2. The Soccer Mom Revolt Against Common Core
1. This genre is mostly used to inform readers of events going on in the world and the US, but it can also be used to publish an opinion or argument similar to a QRG. I chose it because many parents get their information from articles online, and would be most likely to see this argument here. 
2. This would be completely online, I could see it being shared online via social media as well. 
3. I would want to use pathos to connect with parents, and logos to drive home my argument. 
4. Maybe a picture or two, and I may include a short video as an example of a classroom. 
5. I would use mostly casual in order to connect with the audience as well as make it easier to read and follow. 
2. A Video, either explaining my argument or as a speech
1. Why Common Core math problems look so weird
2. Arkansas Mother Obliterates Common Core in 4 Minutes!
1. This genre is used for quick access to information, like a how to video, or to show public events to those at home. I would use this as a quick way to give information, and it is in a shareable format as well. 
1. TED Talks style could be used 
2. The setting of this genre could be anywhere in the video, either pictures or a speech podium are examples. 
3. I would use the same argument style as before, but would stick to a couple key points instead because I don't want a super long video. 
4. I could incorporate a lot more pictures and examples into a video, so parents could see the actual standards while I talk and see it being applied. 
5. This would also be informal or casual, as a formal video would be to boring to sit through for my audience. 

Audience: 

1. Knowledge:
1. Most parents only know what they have experienced or what they see from their kid's perspectives. So this means that if they only see the homework, and that their child is having a hard time with it, they will automatically have a bad view on common core. Of course, some parents will know more about common core than others, and in this case that just means that they won't need as much background information when reading my argument. 
2. Values:
1. Parents just want their kids to succeed. If they think common core is stopping that, then of course they won't like it. I need to be clear that it will help their kids when they get to college or to their careers. It's like when you have a really hard class that you hate, but then the next year you thank that class because it prepared you for this. 
3. Standards of Argument:
1. The best research for parents will be based on how kids under common core can succeed in higher education. In this case, I would look for and translate studies about how much more kids understand after common core. 
4. Visual Elements: 
1. Since this can be an emotional subject for parents, I would want positive images paired with my argument. I could use a classroom setting with common core or put videos of students/positive speeches from well known people. 
5. Purpose: 
1. My argument needs to challenge the view that many parents have about common core (on the negative side). My audience is reading my argument because it has to do with something that directly effects their kids and them. If my argument is well put together, it will (hopefully) motivate parents to be more accepting of common core and work with teachers and their students to help it succeed. 

Positive Reactions: 

1. People continue to spread this information and raise positivity for common core. 
2. Others post their own thoughts and comment on the piece, making a debate based on the info I provide. This would be good because it would get more people involved and create new ideas.
3. A reader posts to their own blog or website, publishing their own piece on common core based off of mine. 
4. I add a new argument for common core that becomes integrated into the argument for it on a national level. 

Negative Rebuttals: 

1. Common core will only hurt students because it is confusing and not explained well. 
1. When properly trained, teachers can teach common core just as effectively, if not more so, than they were before. For students getting common core teaching after they are used to the traditional standards, it will be confusing, but only until they get used to the new standards. Then, it will be better for those students in the long run. 
2. Common core won't actually raise America's education standards internationally. 
1. There's no way to know this until a full round of students have experienced common core and moved through college as well. The same system we have been using isn't raising us internationally; the only thing we can do is to improve is change. 
3. If parents don't like it, ten why is common core even in schools now?
1. Common core was created by the states, not the federal government, and every state that is using common core has voted it in. If parents don't like it, they need to get involved politically to remove it. 

Analyzing Purpose

In my last post I stepped back from the debate to look at the bigger picture. For this post, I will go back to my argument and what I will actually say about my ideas and beliefs on common core. Here is a link to a brainstorming map I have created to break down my own argument.

Wesley Fryer. "Mapping Media to the Common Core with iPads." 12-2013 via Blog: Moving at the Speed of Creativity.
Public Domain. 

Analyzing Context

It is always important when looking at a controversy to also consider the perspectives and mindsets of those involved. The circumstances may change the way you look at the debate completely or provide a better understanding of the controversy itself. For this blog post, I will do exactly that by answering specific questions from "Writing Public Lives."

Joy Kosik. "Screenshot of Writing Public Lives Questions." 10-27-2015. 

1. Most perspectives agree on one thing: students need to learn throughout high school and it can be beneficial to go to college. The differences are how this happens. Some believe that standardized tests can be used to see how we are doing as a nation in education, while others believe that these tests cause undue stress and don't really help education at all. My debate is specifically about common core, so here the two views are to implement it or continue the traditional way. 
2. Those who want common core believe the new standards will help students learn deeper and more meaningful concepts. Those who believe the opposite, however, feel that common core is silly in that it is unnecessarily complicated and confusing. 
3. The common ground or belief that these groups share is the agreement on education needing to be made better, the questions is just how. 
4. There isn't really any differences in ideologies here, because both groups want the same basic goal: to help students. 
5. Common core is voted in to each state, so when a text makes a point or argument about it the next step is to pass on the information so that common core can be either voted in or kept out. These authors may want people to just spread the word, or they could suggest getting involved yourself by joining the debate, voting a certain way, or publishing your own views on the matter. 
6. People that believe common core will help students, or want significant change in education, will have texts that benefit my argument most. For example, Jessica Lahey from The Atlantic wrote an article called, "Confusing Math Homework? Don’t Blame the Common Core." This article would be a perfect counterargument to the opposing views, as it supports common core and directly discredits another argument. Another article that will be very useful is by Cindy Long, titled "Six Ways the Common Core is Good For Students." I chose this article because it provides nothing but good about common core, and provides good evidence throughout that I can also draw from.
7. The greatest threat will be articles about common core's failures. Of course, there will be some problems in a new system, however, my argument still stands that this is better than the old system. Most arguments against CCSS come from concerned parents, and these articles are usually emotionally charged. These are going to harm me the most. For example, Joy Pullman's "Top Ten Things Parents Hate About Common Core" article argues against common core by addressing many problems parents may face when dealing with common core at home.

Jeralt. "Exchange of Questions." 2014 via pixabay.
Public Domain

After reading Zayla and Austin's posts, I felt like we were all successfully going in the right direction with our projects. It's nice being able to choose what we argue and how. I like how Zayla was concise with her answers. I do think though that it is good to put a lot of detail in these drafting stages to make it easier when writing later. I think for my own post I should have been a little more detailed about the aspects of my argument.

Audience and Genre

For this post I am focusing on my audience for this next project. I have made a flowchart to keep track of the possibilities and some of the mediums various audiences would use. This will help me decide on a genre to use for the writing of this project.

Falling Fifth. "The Creative Process." 5-20-2007 via Fallingfifth.com.
Public Domain

Extended Annotated Bibliography

Here is the start of my annotated bibliography for my next project. I have included some courses and descriptions to help me write later.

OpenClipartVectors. "Detective." 2013 via Pixabay.
Public Domain

Narrowing My Focus

In my last post I asked a bunch of questions about my controversy of choice. In this post, I will describe a couple of these questions and explain the importance behind them.

Jason Garber. "Deliberating." 7-14-2008 via Flickr.
Public Doman

Question 1:
How are studies on common core conducted and how are these credible?
I like this question because I think it is important to look at numerical evidence for my argument to be effective. I think this question is a good question to focus on during my research because it will help me find good sources.

Question 2:
What do other countries education systems look like in comparison to common core?
One of the biggest downsides of common core in America is that no one really knows how it will turn out. Comparing it to other countries can provide good context to the audience and more evidence to dispute this argument.

Questions About Controversy

In the post below, I will be asking various questions about a controversy I will write about. For this next project, I will be arguing how and why Common Core Standards are effective and a positive change to the education world.

jeralt. "Board, Questions." 12-18-2014 via pixabay.
Public Domain

WHO:
What are the opinions of most teachers on common core?
Are students as invested in these changes as adults, or do most know very little?
Who created common core in the first place?

WHAT:
Is common core actually effective?
Will common core raise our education rankings internationally?
Is there something better than common core?

WHEN:
When did common core first get released?
When did the first state adopt common core?
When will we see the real world effects of common core?

WHERE:
What states have implemented common core?
What states have not implemented common core?
What do other countries education systems look like in comparison to common core?

HOW:
How are people reacting to common core on social media? Is this mostly negative or positive?
How do teachers respond to the controversy? What genre do they typically use?
How are studies on common core conducted and how are these credible?

Reflection on Project 2

I am very pleased with my final draft of my project 2 paper, linked in a blog post below. I thought I edited well and am happy with the structure I used to speak with my audience. In this post, I will conduct a formal reflection by answering some guiding questions, pictured below.

Joy Kosik. "Screenshot of Writing Public Lives Questions." 10-24-2015.  

1. In my final draft, I completely changed the intro and conclusion, and made minor additions or changes to sentences in the body paragraphs. One of the biggest changes was the way I addressed my audience specifically. I included an intro to them as well as a conclusion for them, and throughout the paper (which I used as an example) I commented tips and explanations of the essay itself. 
2. I made sure that my thesis referenced my arguments of the paper, and referenced the thesis throughout to keep my paper on topic. Most of the time I struggle with staying focus, so this forced my example paper to stay organized. The comments also allowed the example to look smooth and not be interrupted. 
3. I made these changes because of my audience. In my first draft, I had trouble addressing them and only wrote an example piece. I think by changing it to reflect my personal audience, it made the example more effective. 
4. These changes showed that I am willing to change formats to something that might be necessary but not normal for me. For example, I hate addressing the audience directly in an essay like that. For this piece though, I addressed the audience in my paper and in my example, something I've always had trouble with. 
5. These changes directly address the audience, so it made my paper way better in these terms. 
6. My intro and conclusion sound the most different to me in regards of my normal writing style. I tried to make them flow better and be more interesting, so I used sentence structures I used to shy away from and a style that is more confident than I usually write with. 
7. I think these changes makes my argument more clear to the reader, mostly because I was more dramatic in argument. 
8. In the essay, I wanted to write a piece that explained why Kessler was effective. I could have argued the opposite, so to me that makes this example essay almost persuasive. In this sense, it was easier for me to include effective evidence. That was how I thought of this genre while writing my example analysis. 
9. Reflecting lets me think about all the steps in my writing process, and I always learn new tricks while reflecting about writing. This essay was the first time I used some different styles and techniques compared to my old writing, so I learned how I liked those and how to use them in the future. 

Project 2 Final Draft

Here is a link to my final paper on writing a rhetorical strategy. I used the commenting feature in Google Docs to speak directly to my audience alongside my analysis paper. This way, I could give an uninterrupted example but also clarify parts of it to my specific audience.

jill111. "Freedom, woman." 4-7-2008 via pixabay.
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Punctuation, Part 2

As I did in an earlier post, I will be looking at different aspects of punctuation requirements and descriptions. Below I will describe three different types of punctuation.

Gopal Vijayaraghavan. "Unexpecto Apostrophum." Sep 6, 2007 via Flickr.
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1. The Apostrophe
Apostrophes are typically used when marking a possessive, like when someone or something owns or has an object, for example. They are also used in contractions, such as "don't." There are some exceptions to these basic rules, but most of the time this is the only time to use an apostrophe.

2. Quotation Marks
The basic rules for quotation marks are to use them on direct quotes, not paraphrase or summary. Otherwise, there are just different conventions for types of quotes when using quotation marks. For example, when quoting in a quote, use apostrophes to mark the inside quote. Also, there are different instances when using certain punctuation at the end of a quote. Most of the time, use a comma or whatever punctuation the quote ends with, and always inside the quote.

3. End Punctuation
Here, the main aspect is choosing between a period, a question mark, and an exclamation point to end sentences. Most of the time it should be a period, even when there is a questions within the statement. One of the other big things to take from this section is not to overuse the exclamation point, as it can be very easy to do and make the text not as effective.

Paragraph Analysis 2

In previous posts I edited or changed specific parts of my essay, and this time I went through each paragraph to see what needed to be changed. Below, I will discuss what I learned about my essay overall and how I think I could improve it. Here is a link to this paragraph analysis.

ClkerFreeVectorImages. "Mark." 2012 via pixabay.
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I think my essay has good transitions throughout, that's something that I try to include because I used to be really bad at including transitions. Some of my paragraphs I feel are very strong, while others I feel like I'm grasping the point I'm trying to make but not quite getting to it. For those paragraphs I might want to do what I did in my intro/conclusion, and just go through sentence by sentence and rewrite. That would help solidify my ideas and I could include new strategies to my writing.

Revised Conclusion

Like my previous post, I will be rewriting a section of my essay, this time the conclusion. Both the old and the new versions can be seen below, as well as some of my thoughts on why the new version is better.

ClkerFreeVectorImages. "Work in Progress." 2012 via pixabay.
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I think the new version is better because I explain more so why the subject is important to the reader. I think this goes further into the subject and is more interesting to the reader. Again, the use of first person bothers me a little, but in a less formal audience I think it could work at making a more effective argument, especially since my new introduction includes this too.

Original:
By using strong language and writing with confidence, Kessler makes a convincing argument for his audience. Through Kessler’s word choice and tone it is obvious what point he is trying to prove, and he proves this point very well. It is easy to see that he has had higher education, as he writes with confidence and is straightforward with his points. After reading this article, it should be clear to the audience that education needs to change, although the solution to this change has not been fully agreed on, even a few years after Kessler’s article advocating for change was published.

New: 

By using strong language and writing with confidence Kessler makes a strong argument for changing education. And arguments like this are becoming more and more important each passing year. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, "in fall 2015, some 20.2 million students are expected to attend American colleges and universities, constituting an increase of about 4.9 million since fall 2000" (NCES). With each passing year, more kids are going to college and more students are in school than ever before. It's almost common knowledge that America is slipping in the educational ranks, which leads to the makers of curriculum trying out changes to make eduction better. This effects most people; it's not limited to the 20 million attending college in 2015. Those students will go on to shape the economy, the government, and the world we know today, and their education is a huge factor in the opportunities they will get to do that. This is why articles like Kessler's are so important. We need this conversation of change, because education is effecting almost everyone, if not all people in the U.S. 

Revised Introduction

To really start off the revising of my draft, I will completely rewrite my introduction. Below you can find the original as well as the revised versions, and I will also reflect on why I believe the revised version is better.

Wally Hartshorn. "Old Shoes, New Shoes." 2-17-2010 via Flickr.
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I like the second version better because I feel like it's more thought out and detailed. While writing it I felt like it sounded more confident, and I also managed to include an updated thesis. Starting it off with "you" makes me a little uncomfortable, but I think including the audience is a must to get them interested. The use of "you" was never okay in high school, so it's hard to break out of that stigma. I think rewriting the intro with the original right there was extremely useful. I was able to include the information I wanted but in a better thought out way.

Original Intro:
Today is similar to the past in that there are always mixed views on U.S. Education and how it should be setup. In Andy Kessler’s article, “Our 19th Century Curriculum,” published on October 8, 2012, he argues that education needs to change to reflect the future of careers. According to his biography from his website, Kessler was a graduate from Cornell University, and has published work for a variety of newspapers and magazines, such as Forbes and Wall Street Journal. Kessler’s background provides him the credibility to claim what he does. By using dramatic word choice and tone, and by providing concise details about the issue, Kessler has created an effective argument in that it makes the reader want to agree with the existence of the problem Kessler presented.

Revised Intro:
If you are a parent, a student, a teacher, or anyone interested in how education in America is set up, then you have probably heard about the old argument about radically reinventing the education system. In Andy Kessler’s article, “Our 19th Century Curriculum,” published on October 8, 2012, he argues that education needs to change to reflect the future of careers, something that was not seen as radical when education first started. But now, this undertaking would disrupt a lot in education, and many see change as too risky or problematic. However, Kessler argues that this change, whatever it may turn out to be, must happen. Kessler is someone who has grounds to argue this, because he graduated from Cornell University and has gone on to publish multiple books, and has written for many famous journals or papers. These include, but are not limited to, Forbes Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. This amount of publication gives Kessler the credibility to comment on this subject, and it makes it easier for readers to believe him, or at least give his argument a chance. By also employing strong word choice with a variety of language, and a strong and confident tone, Kessler's article on changing education is effective at convincing his audience that the education system should be changed.

Reflection on Project 2 Draft

In the post below I will be reflecting on my draft as well as planning what I think I will need to specifically revise. To do this I will answer various questions from A Student's Guide to Writing.

When I peer reviewed, I looked at Gabee and Carrie's drafts.

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Thesis?
I have an identifiable thesis, but I think while writing my essay I talked about stuff that wasn't mentioned in the thesis. In order to fix that, I would need to broaden my thesis or condense my essay. Since I like most of the points I talked about, I may just add another sentence to my thesis to include more of my ideas in the essay.

Organization?
I think my essay is relatively well organized. I think I managed to keep on subject in each paragraph, but definitely reworking my thesis will help with overall organization. I think it will be hard to include an address to my own audience inside the essay, as that might be confusing and take away from the essay as a whole, unless I restructured the entire thing.

Rhetorical Situations?
Throughout the essay I talk about the author's credibility and his use of dramatic language, but I never directly say logos or ethos or pathos. I think that by directly using those words the essay would sound more formulaic, and I don't want the essay to be boring. I do talk about aspects of these situations, but I think to make the essay more effective at analyzing the article I need to go more in depth about the subject. I'll probably go throughout my essay and add more details about why the author's strategies worked.

Why these situations?
I chose to look at those situations because I thought they were strong in the article I read. If I'm going to talk about why the article was effective, I need to prove it by using his strongest points/strategies. In order to show these strategies I described the author himself, and then used quotes throughout as examples.

Evidence?
I think most of my evidence goes well with the point I am trying to make. I think that in some parts I may shorten the quote, or include another paraphrase of his work, to have a little more evidence to back up my claims.

Conclusion?
I think that parts of my conclusion are good, but it's like it just isn't there all the way yet. I need to work on the last sentence or two, and make sure that I leave on an open ended note about the subject, which is hard for me to do. I think to do this I might try it a few ways until I can hammer a solid final sentence into place.

Punctuation, Part 1

Punctuation can often be used in wrong ways without people knowing it. For the post below, I will be reading about punctuation and explaining a few things I learned about what I read.

OpenClipArtVendors. "Interrogation." 2013 via pixabay.
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1. The Comma
 This section discussed when to use commas in various situations. For example, a comma should be used to separate lists, and in general to stop confusion while reading. I never quite knew if it was okay to omit a comma between the last two words in a list, and this section also cleared that up for me as well. (Most experts say to use that comma). I also learned not to use a comma before starting a list, as that might break up the sentence in an awkward sounding way.

2. The Semicolon
I have always struggled with knowing exactly when to use a semicolon, but this section discussed when and how to use one. One of the main things I learned was that a semicolon could be placed with a conjunction, if there are other punctuation in the first clause. This makes it sound more weighted while reading, making it easier on the reader. I also learned that to use a comma in place of a semicolon would most likely create a run on sentence, so now I know to watch out for that while writing.

3. The Colon
This section describes when to use colons, which should be lists, quotations, or summaries. It was a god refresher to read this one, especially since I didn't know all of it. One fact the book brought up was that a colon could be used to separate a quote, and it had never occurred to me to do that before. Some other rules included are: don't use a colon between a verb and its object, remember to use a colon in conventions, and make sure to place it after the independent clause in order to make sense.


Reflection: 
I peer reviewed Carrie and Gabee's drafts for project 2.

Carrie's paper made me think more about the use of commas. I noticed that some of her sentences were run ons, but when I reread those sentences I could still understand completely what she was trying to say. I think that makes it hard to realize you are writing a run on sentence, especially since our thoughts are a steam of words. Here's the excerpt from her draft:

"Parry’s recognition that proponents of the genetic engineering ban have a valid point in fearing the worst from people is necessary to show that she not only recognizes the other side’s claims but also respects the reasoning behind them."

While reading Gabee's draft, I didn't notice a lot of punctuation error. She may have made some short/choppy paragraphs, but overall her punctuation was good throughout. Here's an example of one of her longer sentences with commas:

"Because he projected his intellect, yet still made the article easy to understand, his audience was broadened and his message will be able to get across to a lot more people."

Draft of Rhetorical Analysis

Below is a link to my draft of a rhetorical essay. When reading it please keep an eye out for full analysis. I feel like when I am writing, I skip around or get distracted, making my analysis less than it should be. Also, please keep an eye out for organization. Like I said, I get distracted while working and like to jump around to different points, and I won't realize it.

Link here.

Steve Lyon. "Self Portrait." 2-21-2007 via Flickr.
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Practicing Summary and Paraphrase

In the post below I will be practicing a summary and a paraphrase of a significant quote from Andy Kessler's article.

Original Source: 

"Fixing it means looking into the future, not the past. In addition to history and literature and basic communications skills needed for critical thinking, we ought to be teaching a curriculum that has some vague connection with the reality of what employers want today and over the next several decades" (Kessler 1).

Paraphrase: 

Andy Kessler argued in his article, "Our 19th Century Curriculum," that making education better is only possible by using curriculum that looks to the future instead of the past. He says that education needs to include what has always been taught, the basics, as well as focus on what many companies need in their workers today and in the future.

Summary: 

Fixing education means that we have to look to the future of jobs and what employers want, instead of teaching outdated curriculum.

Selena Wilke. "Two People Talking." 2-22-2010 via Wikipedia Commons.
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